““The only reason a totally free being would choose to stay within the illusion is to relieve the suffering of all beings. … The moment we choose to come back, we have to push against that force that is drawing us in to merge. We are pushing against God. That is the sacrifice. The sacrifice that Christ made is not the crucifixion. The change for a conscious being to leave his body is bliss. The sacrifice was leaving the Father in the first place and becoming the Son.” - Ram Dass”

And I Don't Want To Miss A Thing...

Inspired by a recent teacher training program with Darren Rhodes, I’m now practicing conscious yoga teaching.

It’s not that I wasn’t a conscious teacher before… I just wasn’t conscious enough.

Sure I knew what I was doing, how to raise and lower the energy of the room and how to avoid injuries, but I wasn't totally conscious of everything I say and the potential meaning behind it.

You see, I was encouraged to say certain things while teaching (I’m sure most of us teachers are). It’s not necessarily because those words felt right for me, but because it was right for the style of yoga. Indeed I follow a style of yoga because it feels right for me, but that doesn’t mean I should say something out of habit vs. making it a conscious choice. 

Conscious teaching involves a lot of listening and correcting on the spot, to the point where I’m asking myself why I use words like “lift the leg” vs. “lift your leg.” This may sound nit-picky, but each word has a meaning, and I want my class themes to be a conscious choice, gifted consciously to my students. I don’t want to miss a thing.

With the magnifying glass on my own teaching, I expected to hear a whole lot of “your” and no “the’s”, but when I tuned in, to my surprise, I did use “the” more often.

I had to ask why. Was this on purpose? Is this a technique I’m imploring to help students avoid a sense of ego in their yoga practice? (note: “ego” is used here to reference a person’s sense of self - not over confidence). I sat with it for awhile and pondered both sides. There’s no right answer, except the one that’s right for me.

I found that giving an instruction using “the” followed by the name of a body part, felt a little cold. I could see the benefits from a Classically dual point of view where eradicating the ego is considered a good thing. But for me, for now, my path hasn’t called for that. I sit well with the idea that embodiment (human-ness yo!) is a gift that was meant to be, and with embodiment comes a very human sense of self. I prefer to work with my ‘gift’ instead of eradicate it. Moving forward, I’m changing all instances of “the” in my yoga classes to “your.” Bear with me, it may will take some practice.

Another word I’ve caught myself using is “advanced.” “Advanced” suggests it’s better than another option but realistically, it’s not. What’s truly advanced is knowing what’s right for you at that moment and that will and should, change often.

My focus on conscious teaching has snuck into my life outside the yoga room. Staying conscious is calling me to get closer to my truth and understand why I do what I do and say what I say. It matters. Here’s why:

Take care of your thoughts, because they will become words.

Take care of your words, because they will become actions.

Take care of your actions, because they will become habits.

Take care of your habits, because they will form your character.

Take care of your character, because it will form your destiny.

And your destiny, will be your life.

-Dalai Lama

I really don’t want to miss a thing. What are you missing?

Teachers out there - any thoughts, tips or experiences to share on your teachings?

The Age of Truth

Long before I met Caio I dated a man who claimed to be waiting on divorce papers. I tred carefully knowing that certain things had to settle and heal. We dated for 8 months, vacationed together, I met his friends, and his 2 brothers. According to him, I was even invited to his parent’s house for a BBQ (a night I couldn’t attend). He said his Mother couldn’t wait to meet the woman who made him so happy. Soon after I found a day old picture of himself and his very pregnant wife standing arm in arm… on Facebook.

I ended it immediately. I felt hurt, ashamed, embarrassed and used.

It turns out, I wasn’t the only one (pun intended!) and social networking is being hugely related to relationship problems - even divorces. 

The saddest part of this isn’t the stats. It’s the fact that these stats are greatly in favour of pointing the finger away from us and blaming something else - in this case social networking tools. That finger should be pointing directly at us and our reliance on game playing.

In my instance, the biggest problem wasn’t that this man was yet to be divorced (although that was a major fault), nor was it Facebook for revealing a previously secret part of his life. The problem was that neither of us were telling the truth.

His truth: he wasn’t waiting on divorce papers and his wife, whom he claimed to be separated from, was very pregnant with his child. 

My truth? Something didn’t feel right. I kept asking him when the papers would come and how he was feeling. I often asked if he wanted to continue with our relationship. He always provided a soothing answer, but my gut feeling never changed. I didn’t ask again the next day simply because it was too soon to ask, not because I felt confident. I wasn’t listening to my inner truth.

No more games. Welcome to the age of truth. It’s here, it’s now and it’s long overdue. This is the age when we’re called to tell our truth… or else we’re revealed. 

To be clear, I’m not promoting that we no longer have any privacy in our lives. There are definitely moments and situations that should remain private. I’m saying this: It’s time to hold integrity. Mean what you say. Practice what you preach.

We’re going to see a lot of individuals make mistakes as this age progresses: what it means to be human, faults and all, will be clearly examined and magnified. It will continue to challenge our beliefs, judgements and ability to forgive. We’ll be presented with many opinions and facts surrounding the mistakes - enough to overwhelm. Heads will spin and we’ll be left with only one question to answer: What’s my truth?

If we have nothing to hide, this won’t be scary. If we’re honest, transparent and hold our integrity, this age of truth is no longer intimidating. Instead, it becomes an absolute blessing. 

Telling the truth calls us to live consciously and to make conscious decisions. It asks us to be aware and deeply in touch with our inner feelings (gut feelings baby!). As soon as we’re aware, we can act on what our heart is saying. 

Consider social networking and the Internet a reminder to tell the truth. Consider them a tool for your spiritual practice that acts as a reminder to follow your heart and practice what you preach. Don’t fake it… or else.

Fooling Nobody

Fooling Nobody. 1968.

I found this picture years ago in a book titled The Secret Art of Dr. Suess and it’s been hanging at my desk as inspiration ever since.

You see, I’m on a journey to be real.

To keep it real.

To tell the truth.

It turns out, telling the truth is hardest when I have to tell it to myself.

This is an online journal where my truth telling has the potential to be public (if someone other than me reads this, then it’s public). When I tell the truth to someone other than myself, I’m held to it. I like that. I like being called on my shit - it’s one of the reasons I have a life coach and also one of the reasons I practice yoga. 

They’re revealing. 

Layers peel away at times with ease, and other times with work. 

It took me years to uncover that the vision I had of myself as an Advertising Executive wasn’t one that I wanted. I had convinced myself however, for 10 years, that that was my path. I was going to make great ads, crack the toughest briefs, and that I would find it fulfilling. The idea of that being a lie scared me. Sure I made decent coin but I went home miserable 5 out of 7 days a week (on a good week). I was fearful to go on and live a life doing something I no longer wanted. I was fearful that I had wasted the past 10 years. I was fearful of change, because I didn’t know what was next. 

But when I opened to the truth, I knew I couldn’t stay. I found my new path only by telling the truth again and again.

This new path is moving in the right direction - I don’t just believe it, I feel it. It wasn’t wrong before, but it also wasn’t life affirming. 

I look forward to what’s ahead and what might kick dust up next. My path carries no promise of a destination; things are constantly changing, unfolding, enfolding and evolving.

I’ve come to terms with not knowing the way, or finding mastery (in most cases). Instead, I like to think it’s about finding an edge. A place where I can keep it real a whole lot easier and in turn, follow my heart’s desires. This place encourages me to embody consciousness a little deeper every day.

I no longer want to fool anyone, including myself.

Who are you fooling?