This one is going to take some time to untangle.
I consider myself a healthy human. I don’t eat refined sugar, I am active and aware of my body’s needs and regularly try to meet them.
And yet, it seems that pregnancy remains a challenge for my body. This last one, a thorough schooling.
Before I explain further, I want to start by saying that I think the birth world is very fear based. Some recommended treatments are for just-in-case scenarios that have a rather low percentage of actually happening. While I can see why extra precautions feel important, I do wish the stats were provided to each birthing person to make their own choices.
I ensured I had those stats this last pregnancy. I even had some stats from other countries to compare how recommendations may differ. I was ready.
And yet, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I tried everything natural - and I mean EVERYTHING, to keep my numbers in check. I knew that one of the reasons medication is suggested for GD is to avoid a baby over 8.5 pounds (GD has a small chance of causing big babies and big babies have a small chance of causing harder births). I believe in the body’s ability to birth so my baby’s size wasn’t a major concern for me. And yet, when I couldn’t get my numbers down, I surrendered to using insulin.
I was also diagnosed with gestational hypertension. Again, I tried everything to bring those numbers down. From exercise, to bed rest, to no salt, to breath work and meditation, and the highly regarded Brewers Diet for pregnancy (known to prevent all kinds of pregnancy risks including hypertension, by increasing protein, calories and salt). I followed the diet so strictly that I gained a huge amount of weight. I even turned down medication so I could try the “emergency protocol” of this diet, which was, wait for it… an egg and a glass of milk hourly for 3 days. It sounds absolutely crazy now but I assure you, thousands of women fix their gestational issues holistically with this diet. (Please don’t ask me how - I invite you to do your own research if you’re curious. I can however, point you to where to look). In the end, I surrendered to needing medication.
I prefer all natural and yet, I chose an induction. Yes, chose.
I began with natural induction techniques. I had two midwives, and an OB that advised against this but I couldn’t bear to be pregnant for much longer. I begged acupuncturists to help things along. They refused.
At 35 weeks I was 2cm dilated with regular, pain free contractions. The OB said they’d likely “see you tomorrow!”
At 36 weeks I was 3 cm dilated with regular, pain free contractions and begged the OB to induce me. They refused.
At 36.5 I was 4cm dialated with regular, pain free contractions. After more bloodwork they offered an induction as my kidneys were showing signs of stress. I cried with relief.
I had known for a long time that things weren’t right but nothing was medically wrong enough until that moment.
The experience of this pregnancy is still integrating. Why was I not able to fix these gestational issues myself? How is it that I fit into the small pool of risks? What am I to take from this?
Or as I like to say, what is my medicine here?
I am still asking myself this question, but I’m also answering it daily:
* Trust your inner wisdom. I knew early on that something wasn’t right even though all tests showed normal. But time revealed what I knew to be true.
* Progress can’t always be seen. Sometimes we try REAL HARD and don’t quite see a shift. Know that things are still happening beneath the surface. No energy is wasted.
* It’s ok to reevaluate your values. In fact, I recommend it! In some scenarios, new values may be needed and surrendering to change becomes the work we need to do.
* Yes, surrender. It’s a breath of fresh air amidst the go-go-go we experience daily.
* Ask for support! In this case, sisterhood and my partner didn’t just have my back… they also had my belly. No one is meant to do life alone.
* Prepare yourself. Life doesn’t always go as planned but WE CAN prepare ourselves. Are you doing your inner work? Do you have ways to stabilize yourself or exercises to bring you calm amidst a storm?
As a soul coach, my inner work was everything in this experience. It helped me stay grounded in the eye of the storm. Without it, my birth story may have looked very different…
If you’re struggling with the surprises life throws, I’ve got tools that’ll guide you onto your best path so you too, can decode ‘what’s my medicine?’. Reach out to me here.