Some days (like today), I really feel the changes. I miss my friends. I miss flying by the seat of my pants. I miss my old definition of freedom. It's days like today that I'm super grateful for my spiritual practice within the framework of Motherhood. As I squirm in the discomfort of loss, I
remember that loosing my self is exactly the point and instead of being totally overtaken by it, I can consciously say yes to what's dying. Yes yes yes. (Repeating it helps, 'cause this ain't easy).
The Perfect Mother
I faced the myth of 'the perfect mother' head on this week. Eye to eye, I stared her down (for now). She's a feisty one, instilling guilt over many choices. This stare down shook me to my core as I held my sleeping baby and wept. But that perfect mother, that myth, that vision I can't uphold left me with a gift. Now, I no longer look at my Mother from a child's eyes; we are women standing side by side, in sisterhood and Motherhood held by the depth of our love, and doing the best we know how. Thank you Mama for all that you did and do.
Bless this journey.
Delicious
13 weeks postpartum. It can be isolating - there's a whole lot of her and I for most of the days. And it can joyful beyond belief for the exact same reason. Grateful for nature sits that are balancing and nourishing both of us (and some hand chewing for her too). Delicious.
8.5 weeks old.
We're reaching new heights - her curiosity is rising and smiles come easy now (yay!). I am also reaching new heights - I found yesterday's underwear in my leggings today, bunched up into a rather large lump on the back of my thigh.
6 weeks old.
The truth is, I have no idea what I’m doing. And it scares me. But so far, when I’ve needed to know, the answer came from within.
Also, racerbacks and headbands are fun!
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4 weeks postpartum
38 weeks pregnant vs. 4 weeks postpartum. So many lessons, so much love, and a huge life transformation. I’m deciding and learning how I define myself as a mom, who also works for herself. Where and how do I spend my time? How long can I stare at my baby and how long do I want to stare at a computer screen?
