AND WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL WITH GOALS ANYWAYS?
Goals reflect our desires but also, have the incredible ability to change our lives. Goals are something many of us consider useful but at the same time, frightening. Why is it that we want to set them and yet, completely avoid them?!
Oh honey.
You're not the only one to set a goal only to 'fail'. This is a common problem and it's why the life coaching industry has basically exploded in recent years.
There's a few key reasons we 'fail' at goals but the main one is that we're not setting them correctly.
I could write SO MUCH about this but let's keep it short because if you're anything like me, when you're scrolling the Internet you want fast answers. So, with speed of understanding in mind, here's the lowdown on exactly
HOW TO SET THE GOALS:
1. Imagine.
Before you can set any goal, you need to know what it is that you truly want. This begins with your imagination and it's a powerful tool - maybe more than you've realized?
Your imagination allows you to envision what you truly want but it doesn't stop there. When you're diving in deeply, imagination allows you feel the effects of your dreams. THIS is what makes imagination powerful. It's able to provide a quantum leap into the future so you can begin to embody and feel what you truly want. This makes it real for a moment and that moment is key. It's what will light a fire inside so you can begin the goal setting process but equally as important, so you can carry yourself straight towards your completed goal. Check!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution." Einstein
2. Break It Down Baby!
In the imagination stage, we can "go big" and some of these things may currently feel a little (a lot?) out of reach. To avoid any overwhelm and in turn, a total halt of motion, we need to break our goals down. I like to recommend a little process like this:
What are your 3 main goals in life right now? Write them out.
(These are the bigger ones like owning a home, embracing yourself fully, running your own successful business, or finding a life partner.)
With your 3 main goals in mind, create smaller action steps towards them.
(Is it saving money and if so, how? Is it looking into a course that'll support your growing business? Is it talking to a mortgage broker to see where you're currently at and what needs to be done first? Is it finding a life coach to show you new ways of being with yourself?)
Create a timeline.
Why oh why a timeline?! It's likely you'll need something to hold you accountable or procrastination can get in the way. Did you know that a high percentage of the time we choose short-term comfort over long term goals? This means that on the day to day, we're likely to stay under that warm blanket instead of taking an action step towards our bigger goals (well that explains all the lost NY resolutions!) So... give yourself a deadline to work towards.
What daily habits don't fit within your action steps?
Take a look at your daily habits and if Instagramming for more than an hour a day isn't fitting into the bigger picture, it might be time to set a boundary for yourself so you can focus on what's really important to you. This isn’t about judgement - this is about discernment.
3. Find an accountability partner.
I know, I know. Goals are deeply personal and because of this we often keep them to ourselves.
But here's the deal: we're not meant to succeed at this stuff alone and science has proven that sharing goals out loud makes a huge difference.
Sharing your goals helps you gain clarity and speaking it out loud makes it real. It's basically the difference between "I can secretly fail and no one will know" vs. "I'm putting a lot of energy towards this so I've got nothing to hide - it's going to be a life shift!"
So, tell someone other than yourself what your goals and action steps are and ask them to check in with you on them. (You can do the same for them!) Accountability is key!
If you really want to create a shift, share your goals with a mentor or teacher (someone you look up to). This keeps you more motivated simply because you likely care what this person thinks of you.
It's important you choose the right accountability partner too. You want someone who's supportive, and yet, non-shaming if you miss a step. If you find your accountability partner isn't holding you accountable, or, you're not motivated to keep your goals - it might be time to look into getting a professional by your side. They can help you decipher why you're getting stuck and what's underneath the inertia. Pssst... it's often a subconscious fear of some kind.
If you'd like to explore this How To Set The Goals process more, I’d love to support you. Reach out to me here: donna@unleashyourlegacy.com and let's discover what's tripped you up and the magic that's available once you start walking again.
It’s totally possible for you to feel as powerful as my kiddo does here (thinking she controls the elevator doors at Grandma’s place - of course).
Your sparkle awaits…!
Be sure to read my follow up post to this “How To Achieve The Goals” here!