heart

Heart Walking

I'm aware that I now post baby pics all the time. Completely aware. It might be temporary. It might not.

The thing is, this is what I do every waking second. And sometimes the sleep filled ones too. What you may not understand (or maybe you do), is that this little being came from afar and manifested herself inside me. Inside! My blood, my cells, my breath and my thoughts have all created her. And yes this story is as old as time, and you've heard it all before... but the feelings that go along with this gift are the hardest to explain. My heart is hers.

And now she's here, with her hand on my heart as if to say she understands. 
She's learning to be human and waking me the eff up (in many ways) as we move (and sometimes trip) along this path together.

"Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." E. Stone


One 'No' Per Day Keeps The Doctor Away!

I left my stressful job in advertising last October to teach yoga. I’m loving every second, but none of those seconds are made easy without me designing them that way.

You see, my programming from the 10+ years in the ad world stuck with me; I’m really good at moving fast and filling my time. What I’m not so good at however, is slowing down. I can push, sprint and jump (how high?!), but ask me to slow down and I’m either instantly annoyed or instantly challenged. Often both.

But I kept finding myself overwhelmed…by choice. My schedule was part of my daily design. I kept saying “yes” to everything that came my way from teachings gigs, writing articles, offering retreats - all things I figured would boost my new career. But I ran out of time. I couldn’t find time to do it all whole heartedly and that drove me nuts. I was conflicted and stressed. I ran out of personal time too -  I couldn’t find time to meditate, to practice daily, to enjoy my dog and even my husband. I had no time to keep the promises I made to myself because I had made a new promise to someone else. I kept saying “yes” yet again.

So now, I’m saying “no” to at least one thing per day. It was my life coach’s idea (thanks Handel Group and Hildie Dunn). When she first suggested it, I laughed and thought “what on earth will I say no to?!” Sure enough, there was lots. This past week I was able to enjoy meals again, had dinner out with my husband, I finished reading a book and even went for 2 runs. I practiced yoga and held poses longer. I slowed the eff down and enjoyed myself.

In my new daily design, saying “no” is just as important as saying “yes.” I like to think of it this way: By saying no, I’m saying yes to myself. To my soul. To what I really need to be able to make the next “yes” whole hearted.

And let me tell you, whole hearted yes’s are the best kind out there.