I Believe

I’ve recently been asked to describe my beliefs in a nutshell (if that were possible) and totally enjoyed the process. I choose to share them as an exercise in facing my fear to be exactly who I am, regardless of judgement from others. 

“Because our beliefs are so important to our survival, we have a tendency to hold those beliefs very strongly, even when presented with opposing opinions or facts. Yet the brain is also capable of changing beliefs if we are open to new ideas and respect the beliefs of others.” - Andrew Newberg

  • I believe we are all all forms of energy and therefore, all connected at the most basic and complex levels. In fact, I believe we are one and the same.
  • I believe in awakenings. 
  • I believe in reincarnation.
  • I believe in entities/spirits existing in different realms.
  • I believe mermaids, unicorns and fairies are real. 
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  • I believe in animal guides and messages from them.
  • I believe Mama Earth is alive and conscious.
  • I believe the Universe and this world is a reflection of our collective consciousness and therefore,
  • I believe, if enough people were to envision love, we would change the world and 
  • I believe if we as a race get lost enough, there could be a natural disaster as a reflection of that.
  • I believe that when it thunders, my brother with Down Syndrome really does talk to God.
  • I believe everything happens for a reason, and I believe I am exactly where I should be.
  • I believe time is a concept, not a reality.
  • I believe Jesus, God, Krishna, Allah, Shiva are the same - just different strokes for different folks. I believe that seeing them as different creates a large amount of suffering in the world.
  • I believe we choose our life before we enter this world for some soul purpose that is not totally clear to our human mind.
  • I believe fear of death is a cultural issue - not a human issue.
  • I believe the way someone is brought into this world wholly effects their life.
  • I believe there is a plan. I also believe there is no plan.

Care to share yours?

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Howl on!

"Same Same, But Different"

This saying echoed throughout my trip to SE Asia a few years ago. It started with a 2 year old in Bali; She was examining essential oils and after much sniffing said “same same”. Her Mom added “but different.“ The next day our taxi driver used it to describe his way of life in Bali vs. ours in Canada. This expression continued throughout the trip; a monk in Thailand said it while comparing lifestyles, a villager North of Chiang Mai used it, it was written all over t-shirts in Cambodia.


"Same same, but different.”

For me, this expression defines the word community.
We need each other to survive. Sure we’re different but we’re also the same. We breathe the same air. My inhale is your exhale and vice versa. We coexist. We need each other and our differences to evolve and when we come together as a community, we’re at our best.

One of my teacher’s says that the next Buddha is the Sangha. Meaning, the next enlightened one isn’t one, but instead a community of ones. I love that idea.
“We all need community, because to realize our potential as human beings we need the love, the support, and the evolution of valuable conversation. As yogis we mean to engage deeply, to yoke ourselves. To what? To each other, to the things we understand to be of worth and value, to the possibilities a universe so vast offers. … We become better, greater when we realize that we can accomplish more together, far more, than we could ever achieve alone. Enlightenment is a collective experience.“ Douglas Brooks
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Birthed As A Doula

Dear Annie,

Words don’t come close to describing the experience you gifted me, but I feel like there’s so much beauty to remember that I wanted to try.

(art by Damien Leggett)

You laboured for 18 hours.

You pushed for 1 hour.

I saw strength, raw emotion, faith and surrender. Yet, the word that keeps coming to mind when I think of Elisa’s birth is grace.

You birthed a beautiful baby girl, and you birthed yourself as a Mother.

When you looked at me in active labour, you had the brightest eyes I’ve seen you have yet, but you were tired. You said “Donna, this is very hard.” I heard you, yet as you said this I also heard a deep trust and a depth of wisdom that I hadn’t seen from you before.. and I knew you were going to be fine.

At 7:30pm you were 5cm dilated.

At 8:30pm you were 9cm dilated.

Within this hour, you did everything you needed:

  • You rested between contractions with moments of deep sleep.
  • You turned inward.
  • You energetically asked for silence; the room listened.
  • You tapped into the ocean within you - you went with the flow.
  • You instinctually switched your breathing.
  • You guided myself and Sean on how to move you with your breath.
  • Instinctually, you switched from quiet and introspective, to a roaring lioness.

And then you needed to push. 

When you felt the doctor wasn’t coming fast enough to check your last centimetre of dilation, you raised your voice just enough to send the nurse out of the room immediately after that contraction. 

Your ability to stay clear and connected to exactly what you needed had me in awe.

The doctor arrived and after a lesson on how to push, you nailed it. “Push into the pressure” is what you were told. You likely didn’t notice, but all the medical staff’s eyes lit up with that push. They were impressed. I was beaming.

It was an hour of hard work, but there were moments where I saw your Mother, hands on her cheeks, pushing right along with you. I saw the same face in both of you and it was then that I saw the true beauty of womanly wisdom moving through the generations. 

Between pushing, you had to catch your breath. It was in one of these breath catching moments that I had to catch mine. It took everything in me to hold back tears of sweetness when I saw you turn to Sean, catch your breath, kiss his hand and whisper “my love.”

Breathless I was. But not surprised. His depth of support was awe-inspiring. He held your head, massaged you, fed you ice after every contraction, rocked you, and counted for you to name a few. His support was so unwavering I felt the need to make sure he was taking care of himself. He was. He was so solid. I think I took doula lessons from Sean that night.

Baby Elisa’s head was half out at this point. The feeling was so intense you went with the doctor’s suggestion and instead of waiting for another contraction, you went to push. Deep breath in, Sean lifted your head, you gazed down and instead of pushing said “Oh my God! Oh my God!” It was your first sighting of Elisa. The innocence of the moment made everyone chuckle, but it made you push Mama.

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(art by Damien Leggett)

And it was with that push that Elisa graced us with her presence. 

Sean revealed her gender to your total surprise; “Oh my God, we have a baby girl! We have a baby girl!” To say the moment was emotional was an understatement. And this is where Elisa’s Grandmother knew to step up, showering both of you with love.

Annie, you beat the statistics at the hospital and you birthed without drugs. You didn’t even ask for them. Your strength was awe-inspiring.

Thank you for letting me bear witness to this beautiful event. That night, you birthed me as a doula.

With love,

Donna

““The only reason a totally free being would choose to stay within the illusion is to relieve the suffering of all beings. … The moment we choose to come back, we have to push against that force that is drawing us in to merge. We are pushing against God. That is the sacrifice. The sacrifice that Christ made is not the crucifixion. The change for a conscious being to leave his body is bliss. The sacrifice was leaving the Father in the first place and becoming the Son.” - Ram Dass”

The Peak of Life

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This past week there was a death in my family. My Grandfather, at the age of 98, passed in his sleep. I’m grateful for so many reasons: 98 was a beautiful, long life. 98 made it easier to understand that death was near. And 98 years gave us ample time together - which made his passing hard. No matter the age, it’s hard to loose someone you love.

While Gramps passing was much easier than my own Father’s, it did kick up memories of sadness from that time…and fear. Deep seated fear for my own inevitable passing.

The great sages refer to every aspect of life as practice; practice for the peak of life. Cue the reason I get on my yoga mat.

My mat is a mirror to my life. It’s a reflection of how I react to everything, including challenges. Through practice, I’ve learned my first reaction to stress is fear and through practice, I’ve given myself tools to deal with this fear - all in preparation for the greatest moment of life, the pinnacle of it, the greatest ecstacy:

“One who has become capable of witnessing life has become capable of witnessing death because death is not the end of life; it is the very culmination of it. It is the very pinnacle of it. Life comes to its peak in death. Because you are afraid, you miss. Otherwise, death is the greatest ecstasy, the greatest orgasm there is.” Osho

Fall In Love With Life All Over Again

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Did you know your heart can effect a bowl of yogurt?

Your heart is magical, absolutely magical. Not just the fact that it keeps you alive, although that’s pretty amazing. Your heart emits an electromagnetic field that carries information about your emotions - specifically, what emotions you’re experiencing. Studies show that this field of information effects something as simple as yogurt. Imagine then, what the field of your heart can do to the people and pets around you! Talk about connection baby! 

States of joy, love and peace all emit a positive effect not just for you, but to those around you too.

Life really is magical.

The Most Dangerous Risk Of All...

“The risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.”

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I’m proud to say that this year marks my 2nd year serving the community solely through yoga classes and Reiki offerings.

I’ve never been happier. Listening to your heart and following your passion is absolutely key for your health. Imagine a world where everyone was doing what they love!

Supressing what you were born to do is the most dangerous risk of all. There’s no time for later. The time is now.

What are you waiting for?

A Real Time Ashtanga Account - Mysore Style

Background: I’ve been practicing yoga for 10+ years, but more seriously in the past 5. I had what I would call a fairly advanced practice; Urdhva Dhanurasana is no problem, headstand without a wall is all good, drop backs are a bit scary but totally do-able. I don’t practice in the heat - ever. I did a full yoga class 3x per week and scattered yoga poses through out my day - until my 1 month Ashtanga challenge.

Here’s a real time account of my personal Ashtanga challenge at AYCT.

Day 1: Kinda nervous. Practice is shorter than I expected as I’m only given up to Parsvottanasana so I can memorize the sequence.

It’s hotter than I thought and the room’s smell reflects it.

Day 2: The heat! I learn I’m not allowed to bring my water into the room with me. “This is going to kill me” is what goes through my head. I start a habit of drinking half the bottle before my practice and leaving it at the back of the room for when I’m finished. Up to Pascimottasana.

Day 3: Barely making it through. Struggling with the heat, and the idea that I may dehydrate… or die.

Day 4: Fighting panic attacks in the room due to the heat - no one knows but me. The thought that I may die crosses my mind too many times; my mouth is dry, I’m sweating a ton and it’s hot - it’s so hot. I have to look at the older people in the room for inspiration (and to convince myself that I won’t die).

Day 5: Still fighting panic attacks in the room. They’re all in my head. Why are people cross eyed?!

Day 6: I can’t stand the sweat that runs into my eyes - new (least) favourite focus, other than watching the weird assists.

Day 7: I bring a towel into the room to wipe the sweat from my eyes- new favourite past time during practice.

Week 2: Teacher tells me to stop wiping my face so much and focus more. Still fighting panic attacks from the thought that I may die from dehydration or heat stroke. Once I’m out of the room and practice is over, I realize I’m being completely dramatic.

I'm ridiculously tired and nap at least 3x during the week. Sore. So. Sore. Left knee seems tweaked.

People actually get sat on in the practice room. I dread that assist!

Week 3: Up to Janu Sirsasana C. Still sore and still napping after practice. My left wrist is showing signs of injury. I no longer consider my practice advanced. This style is schooling me!

Can’t get the smell out of my clothing. Having to soak clothes, then wash them. They don’t even smell like me - they smell like the room!

Week 4:Almost done my 1 month challenge.Up to Bujapidasana, then to Urdhva Dhanurasana with drop backs on my own. Getting schooled on keeping my heels down in drop backs. I can’t do it - it’s uncomfortable in my low back and I just don’t understand the muscles required to keep my heels down yet.

Left knee is better. I’m noticing major changes in my practice; I’m much stronger and dare I say, the practice may be getting easier? Left wrist is better, right wrist is sore.

I tried to press up to handstand (not kick up) at home against a wall - my feet lifted off and I freaked out from the feeling. Fell out of it, and ran to jump on the bed. I’ll try again in a few weeks.

Loving the forward fold assists daily and working on my own cross-eyes. Drishti baby.

Week 5:Given Supta Kourmasana assisted. Jesus - how does one breathe in that pose?!

Forgot to drink half my water before practice and still survived. 

Marichiasana D needs an assist on both sides in order to bind.

Can’t stop now. One month challenge is extended until…? Plus I’m head over heels for the studio mascot, Bambi.

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Week 6: Up to Garba Pindasana. Can’t even get my finger tips through my legs - no matter the amount of lubrication. The rolling around part feels so ridiculous.

Able to place focus on things like keeping my foot arches lifted - no longer just barely making it through. Panic attacks are gone. Not even bringing my water to the back of the room anymore.

Week 7 beginning: Hands are through in Garba Pindasana! Boom! But now I’m tipping when I try to roll around. So frustrating! I have a love/hate relationship with the practice.

Week 7 end: Forearms through in Garba Pindasana! Major bruises on my inner elbows however. Rolling around with more control, less tipping. Jump throughs are coming! The key is to reach my chest forward as I jump!

Complained to my teacher that I can’t get my arms through past my elbows in Garba Pindasana - he kindly reminded me that I was complaining not long ago about my fingertips not going through. The grass is always greener!

Week 8: Convinced my husband to try it out. He’s coming daily now too.

Tweaked my right knee in Garba Pindasana. Can no longer do ½ lotus with the right leg - need to let it heal and modify through the practice.

Week 9: Bruises on ankles from jump throughs are constant.

Week 10: Marichiasana D to the left without assist!

Week 13: Convinced that drinking ½ a coconut water before practice makes my practice better. Putting this to the test. Have my husband in on it too.

Ankle bruises seem to be diminishing.

Week 14: I’m light! Floating through better than ever. Catching air on the jump backs too. Have no idea how or why it’s happening yet. Just started happening one day!

First drop back with my heels down happens! Coming back up does not happen. 

Right knee finally feels better. Back with Garba - forgot how much of a pain that pose is. Arms go through easily, but stuck at elbows. Back with the elbow bruises!

Month 4: Baddha Konasana a & b is given to me. Forgot to drink ½ coconut water before going into the practice room; thinking Mula Bandha is easier without a liquid filled belly.

Frustrated at coming up from drop backs without flinging myself into the person in front of me. Feeling annoyed at the lanky, overly flexible man next to me in practice. His legs are all up in my space.

Gave it a good go on coming up from drop backs. Must have let out a noise or loud breath because the lanky man offered a whisper of encouragement: “That’s good! You’ve almost got it”. I wanted to cry - I was previously thinking mean thoughts about him. 

Month 4, week 2: Tweaked knee again. Back with modified Garba Pindasana. Tweaked right wrist, feeling sharp wrist pain in jump throughs and jump backs. Jump throughs and jump backs are on hold. Working on patience in full force - not going so well.

Month 4, week 3: Back with Garba Pindasana. Tweaked left shoulder when compensating for my right wrist. Back is hurting in drop backs - I seem to have a vertebrae that’s pushing inwards. Drop backs are assisted again. Feeling pretty low about my practice with all the modifications these days.

Month 5: Up to Urdhva Mukha Pacimottanasana. Hard pose - what on earth am I supposed to balance on?? One pose left until I complete the Primary Series (Setu Bandhasana)! 

Month 5.5: Back is starting to feel better although I can still feel 1 vertebrae pushing in. Discovered that keeping my first finger, middle knuckle down supports my wrist. Building forearm strength to really keep it down now.

Loving the dedication and devotion that the practice brings to my life. I feel more settled after my practice is complete in the mornings. I do miss other poses from other styles (pigeon, side plank, wild thing, Hanumanasana (splits), handstand to name a few) so I’m trying to do one other class per week to keep this side of me happy. I’m also doing some of these poses at home on my own.

I love the community at the Shala and I love my teacher David Robson! Super glad I started this personal challenge in the first place.

5 Tips To Advance Your Asana

1. Check out different teachers and different classes regularly. 

Different teachers will offer you different flows, different poses and different alignment cues. If you're open to it, you'll always pick up something new you can use. If you find a teacher/style that challenges you like no other, stick with them for awhile until that changes again. Then repeat this step.

2. Time your poses.

Interval style. Try 1 minute holds, then up it to 2 minutes. It’s one thing to make it into a pose but completely different to hold that pose. Try it out!

3. Break routine or find routine.

If you don’t have a routine, starting one can deepen your practice. Try doing the same poses daily for a month and watch the progression! If you already have a routine, adding poses to practice will give your body something new to work with. Change up your patterns as well such as what side you do first, what leg you kick into handstand with, and what leg you put into lotus (or a cross legged seat) first.

4. Find your edge.

…and play it. Your edge is a place of fear, possibility and breakthrough’s. The best yogi’s know how to fall, and how to get back up.

5. Listen.

You of all people know exactly what you can do to deepen your practice. Just listen to your body and your mind. It’s likely the things that scare you a little, are the things you need more of. Listen to your inner guide and step into your own light.

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5 Ways To Keep Resolutions

I’ve avoided making new year resolutions for a few years. That’s right - avoided.

I was afraid to fail.

According to the University of Scranton’s Journal of Clinical Psychology, I’m not the only one. Their study reveals that 45% of us make New Year’s resolutions, but only 8% keep them.

I refuse to be in the 8%.

I’ve been working with an amazing life coach for 2 years now and keeping promises is no longer a problem - however, it’s still a challenge. Below are 5 steps that help me keep my new year resolutions:

#1: Write them down.

In the process of writing your intentions, you’ll become really clear on what they are. Sometimes we have an idea but until it’s formulated in words, that idea isn’t clear enough to follow through on. We need clear instruction and clear intention to commit to. 

You’ll also be devoting the first amount of time to your resolutions as you write them. This alone is building your dedication to keep them. 

#2: Define what they look and feel like.

This is huge. Take your intention and expand on it by defining how it changes your life. For example, if your intention is to work out more, organize your calendar so you know exactly what and when “more” is. If your intention is to listen clearly to others, when they’re done speaking repeat back to them. It could be as simple as “so you’re feeling like [insert what you heard here].”

Then write out how it’ll feel to keep your resolutions: “I feel more confident and healthy” or “I feel more sensitive to others needs and my relationships are deepening.” In writing out how it feels to have these new resolutions as part of your life, you’ll discover the why you want to keep them in the first place!

#3: Make a routine out of it.

Routine is grounding and easier to keep than sporadic thoughts of “I should be doing _______.”

If your resolutions don’t seem like something you can make a physical routine out of, call yourself on bullshit (then thank yourself for such a good lame excuse). It’s totally possible, you may just need to be a little creative.

#4: Tell your family and friends.

Go public with your resolutions. Get people to call you on your excuses and help you keep your intentions. Otherwise, they may be helping you make excuses not to keep them. If you tell them sincerely, they’ll be more than happy to help you (really! who doesn’t love to help those you care about?!). 

#5. Understand.

The practice of keeping your intentions is the same as keeping promises to yourself. It’s a practice of self respect. Self respect is spiritual.

It’s a practice that will ask the old you to step aside, and the new you to come in. Change may not be easy, but change is the essence of possibility.

Why go another day missing something that you really want to be doing?

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10 Ways To Wake Up For Yoga

1) Make a promise and keep it.

This practice alone may be harder than your actual yoga practice. If you can nail this, you’re setting yourself up for some serious self respect. Keep your word and you’ll learn to trust yourself. Be the kind of person who does what they say because hitting the snooze button isn’t worth the guilt of going back on your own word.

2) Make friends at the studio.

A lot of them. You’ll look forward to seeing them and they’ll notice if you’re not there. You’ll meet those who inspire you and those who you’ll inspire. You’re not alone in the practice.

3) Prepare the night before.

Go to bed early. Seems obvious right? Then do it. It prepares your mind to follow through on your promise the night before - no more early morning decisions. It makes a fantastic difference. Also set out everything you need for the morning at night.

4) Get up at the same time each day.

Your body loves rhythm. Bringing it back to a rhythm first thing in the morning will be grounding and relaxing. Even though you’re getting out of bed, this morning routine will relax you and make you feel more rested throughout the day.

5) Remember you want to do this.

It was your idea in the first place. Remind yourself of your love for the practice.

6) Deepen your inhale. 

As you wake up, your inhale will naturally deepen - it’s the awakening part of your breath. Help yourself along and put some focus on deepening your early morning inhales more.

7) Stay warm.

In the winter months it’s hardest to get out of bed if the air outside your blanket is cold. Wear something warm to bed and remove some of the the shock of removing your blanket. Know that getting up and practicing will warm your core temperature for the day. Yes please!

8) Shake it out.

Shake out your sleepiness by… shaking. Or try dancing. But most definitely move immediately.

9) Understand the benefits.

Know that your yoga practice isn’t just physically beneficial. Your practice of waking up, keeping a promise and forming self respect by following through is priceless. But you already knew that - that’s why the mat is calling you.

10) Answer the call.

You’re called to this for a reason. Trust it.

One 'No' Per Day Keeps The Doctor Away!

I left my stressful job in advertising last October to teach yoga. I’m loving every second, but none of those seconds are made easy without me designing them that way.

You see, my programming from the 10+ years in the ad world stuck with me; I’m really good at moving fast and filling my time. What I’m not so good at however, is slowing down. I can push, sprint and jump (how high?!), but ask me to slow down and I’m either instantly annoyed or instantly challenged. Often both.

But I kept finding myself overwhelmed…by choice. My schedule was part of my daily design. I kept saying “yes” to everything that came my way from teachings gigs, writing articles, offering retreats - all things I figured would boost my new career. But I ran out of time. I couldn’t find time to do it all whole heartedly and that drove me nuts. I was conflicted and stressed. I ran out of personal time too -  I couldn’t find time to meditate, to practice daily, to enjoy my dog and even my husband. I had no time to keep the promises I made to myself because I had made a new promise to someone else. I kept saying “yes” yet again.

So now, I’m saying “no” to at least one thing per day. It was my life coach’s idea (thanks Handel Group and Hildie Dunn). When she first suggested it, I laughed and thought “what on earth will I say no to?!” Sure enough, there was lots. This past week I was able to enjoy meals again, had dinner out with my husband, I finished reading a book and even went for 2 runs. I practiced yoga and held poses longer. I slowed the eff down and enjoyed myself.

In my new daily design, saying “no” is just as important as saying “yes.” I like to think of it this way: By saying no, I’m saying yes to myself. To my soul. To what I really need to be able to make the next “yes” whole hearted.

And let me tell you, whole hearted yes’s are the best kind out there.